I Can Feel You All Around Me
by NikiRadcliffe
Summary: Bella during New Moon. She just can't get over him, can she?


**A/N- I got this idea when I heard this song on the radio. I tweeked it, just a little, so it would fit! I hope you like it!**

**Oh yeah, I don't own Twilight and/or Flyleaf. If I did, do you think I would be writing on here?!**

I woke up from my nightmare in a cold sweat. I dreamed he was here again, holding me, loving me like he used to.

_My hands are searching for you  
My arms are outstretched towards you  
I felt you on my fingertips  
My tongue dances behind my lips for you_

I shove my face into my pillow to stop the sobs. My heart shattered in my chest as I thought of his name… Edward.

_This fire rising through my being  
Burning._

_I'm not used to seeing you_

It's been 4 weeks, and I still couldn't stop thinking of him. He haunted my dreams, my fantasies, my everything. I couldn't get rid of him.

_I'm alive, I'm alive_

I remembered that he's gone for good, and I scream into my pillow and quilt. Charlie feebly opened the door.

"Bella?" he asked. I didn't make a sound of welcome, and he left my room, keeping the door cracked open. Light poured into my room, burning my eyes. I hid under my quilt and I fell back asleep.

_I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healing_

I woke up at the crack of dawn; tear tracks down my face, and sniffed. I wiped them off, and got ready for school. I wouldn't, _couldn't_, let anybody see how I felt at school. Everybody knew the story, the Cullen's leaving for sunny Los Angeles, but I knew the real reason why they, most importantly Edward, left.

He didn't love me.

_My hands float up above me  
And you whispered you love me  
And I begin to fade  
Into our secret place_

I woke up again, from another nightmare. This one was worse. We were in the meadow. He was holding me. He was kissing me. It was the good times. I rubbed my face, trying to somewhat scratch and peel the memories of him away with my fingers, but I just couldn't. He was etched into my mind forever.

_The music makes me sway  
The angels singing _

_say we are alone with you  
I am alone and _

_they are too with you_

I wonder how he's doing. He must be lonely, wherever he is right now. Maybe he's up in Alaska; with those other vampires. I roll over in bed, and tried to sleep, but dawn was already cracked above the horizon. Maybe he found someone else. Maybe he's suffering, too.

But I doubt that.

I got up for school. Why sleep when you could be early for school, right?

_And so I cry  
The light is white  
And I see you_

My dreams keep getting progressively horrifying. This time, we were on a beach, his sparkly skin making rainbows for the amusement of the little kids around us. We both stand up, and he throws me over his shoulders…

And then I woke up. Sweaty, shaking, and crying, like usual.

_I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive_

I stay up late at night, and think.

What did I do wrong?

Did I love him _too_ much?

Was he ever interested in me?

And then I had a new thought.

He never loved me.

_I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healing_

Charlie and I eat in silence. He stares up at me from his pasta. I look back at him.

"I love you, Bells." He says silently, and when I didn't respond, he continued eating.

He didn't watch the game tonight.

_Take my hand  
I give it to you  
Then you owned me  
All I am  
You said you would never leave me  
I believed you  
I believed  
_

I'm up at night… again. I'm remembering the night in Phoenix, where he said he would stay. I moan into my pillow in distress. He said he wouldn't leave me! But he did!

_I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healed_

I stare out the window during school. I sighed as a bird flew into a tree.

I looked down at my notes, and sighed again.

Edward's really gone.

For good.

**A/N- Reviews are welcome!!**


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